Plan B
by Ephemeral Muse
Summary: Player 1: Haru, self-proclaimed future wife. Player 2: Dino, self-proclaimed older brother. Goal: Win first place at the traditional Vongola-style birthday party for Tsuna's 20th birthday. Let the games begin.


Prompt: "Gifts"

Pairing: D86/DinoxHaru

Disclaimer: "Katekyo Hitman Reborn!"'s characters, plot, and all other affiliates of the manga and anime belong to Amino Akira, meaning it does not belong to me whatsoever. I own solely this piece of literature, and thus I would also appreciate it if fellow authors and writers do not steal any of my work. Thank you, and enjoy "Plan B".

* * *

Plan B

_A DinoxHaru fic_

Tsunayoshi Sawada was a "normal" person. He had "normal" grades (if you consider flunking every other test to be average), a "normal" family (because you know that everyone has a mafia boss as his grandfather), and a "normal" life (aren't you a flunking student by day and failure-of-a-Mafioso by night?).

Yup. Tsunayoshi Sawada was a _normal_ man.

His friends, however, are a different story. Just looking at his slightly under-aged tutor says it all, really. From the _extremely_ oblivious boxing freak to the _annoyingly_ oblivious cow freak to the _obliviously_ oblivious baseball freak…sometimes a kid wonders about how the family's still alive after all the mayhem.

Of course, if there's one thing Mr. Not-Good-At-Anything is good at, it's adapting. That being said, you'd think that after five years of working in this business, he'd be prepared for what was to come on October the fourteenth.

But since Tsuna isn't good at anything, he still ended up shell-shocked one beautiful day at the absolute pandemonium resulting from that one special day. Well, it's not every day that you can see the self-proclaimed future wife _smashing cake _into the self-proclaimed older brother of the future Vongola boss's face on said Vongola boss's birthday.

He really should've expected it though. The tension between the two had been brewing and worsening since the previous month, and all because of one simple, careless comment made by his Right-Hand man.

* * *

"Juudaime! Juudaime," Gokudera called out, running across the long hall to greet his boss. "Your birthday is coming up soon, boss! Once again, I'll show you my dedication as your Right-Hand man and win first place again this year!"

_Ah...that's right…_Tsuna thought, realizing what event his friend was talking about. _My birthday is coming up…_and with that train of thought, his happy bubble suddenly popped. _Dear lord…with my birthday coming up…that means…._

"Hahi! TSUNA-KUNN!" he was suddenly tackled by the one and only "future" wife". Over the years, her antics were turning bolder and bolder, to the point where she practically resembled Gokudera in her affections. What a scary thought...

"Neh neh, Tsuna-kun, is there something you'd like for your birthday? Haru-chan will definitely try her best to make Tsuna-san very happy on his birthday!"

"Ah..haha…it's alright, Haru-chan…" he suppressed another nervous chuckle, praying to whatever divine being was listening to him that she wouldn't make another outlandish costume.

"Oh? If it isn't Tsuna!" Soon, their group was joined by a blonde man wearing his signature fur coat. Smiling, he greeted everyone warmly.

"Ahah, my little bro's growing up, isn't he? What do you want for your birthday? Don't be modest! Big brother here will give you _anything_ you want. It is the big 2-0, after all!"

Tsuna smiled nervously, feeling a prickly sensation in the back of his head. He had a bad feeling about this…the last time he had that prickly sensation, the kitchen had exploded because of Gokudera trying to bake a cake…

"Hahi! Dino-san, you're staying for Tsuna-kun's birthday? I thought you were going to be back at the Cavallone mansion by then!"

Chuckling, Dino shook his hand. "Ah, well, I made some changes to my schedule. Can't miss my little bro's birthday, after all! I'll be aiming for first place this time around as well. Can't let Gokudera win all the time, hmm?" Swinging his arm around Tsuna's shoulders, he ruffled the boy's hair playfully. "Speak up, Tsuna. You can have whatever you like!"

"Che, well, whatever you get for the boss will still probably be better than what that annoying girl's present."

Of course, Gokudera _would_ drop the bombshell.

A tense silence ensued, nobody daring to say another word for fear of the girl's wrath. Finally, Dino dared to take a step forward and pat the girl's shoulders.

"Hey, it's alright, uhh, Goku—"

His hand was slapped away. Stunned, he took a step back as he witnessed the female rage in its raw form.

"Don't you go touching my shoulder, Dino Cavallone! I know what you're up to now! You think you can go and steal _my _Tsuna from me, don't you? Hahi! I'll show you useless! Don't mock the future wife, hahi!"

Her face red from screaming, she stomped away, leaving behind a group of stunned men.

"What…was that all about?" Dino muttered, scared and a bit traumatized.

Tsuna sank to the floor, even more troubled. Just _what_ was going to happen on his birthday…?

* * *

Namimori mall was full of people that day—it always was on holidays. However, the crowds separated easily for the group of intimidating Mafiosi. Despite the fact that Dino told Romario that he "didn't want any big fuss", the Cavallone still went all out in terms of escorts and transportation. Whipping off his sunglasses, Dino flipped his hair from his eyes. A group of teenage girls giggled, whipping out their cell phones in earnest to take pictures of the "foreign Italian model". Ignoring the slightly creepy fangirls (they all paled in comparison to Haru's rage), he walked in his leisurely pace through the shopping district, looking for the perfect present to give to his brother. Sure, he was scared shitless of Haru, but that didn't mean he was going to give up! After all, the Cavallone's gotta show some love too, right?

He halted, his group of chaperones stopping with him. He brushed away the questioning glances from his subordinates, opting instead to continue staring at the item in the store window. It was perfect for the future boss, an absolute sure-win….It was…it was…

…a golden sculpture of a_ tuna_ in all it's glory! Standing at 5 feet tall in solid 24K gold on a platform made of platinum, its head rearing in pride at its magnificence…it was indeed a masterpiece. What really took the cake, though, was the plate on the platform, blank and ready for a personalized engraving. Tiny clams made of genuine diamond bordered the plate, twinkling under the light of the hot sun. It was truly worthy of the great Vongola.

He quickly marched into the store, wallet already half out. He didn't care how much it cost-he wanted it now, wrapped in golden tissue paper and placed in an ivory box. Spotting the sales associate, he made his way over, ready to ask her—

How the hell Haru managed to get there before him, and where the hell she came from.

Before he was able to say even a word, she had already shoved her life savings into the poor saleswoman's face and gotten the present gift wrapped _with the words "To my dear husband. Love, Haru." written on the box. _

He tried to intervene at the last minute, only to trip on a cord and fall. Where were his subordinates when he needed him? He watched, flabbergasted, as Haru towed the huge box away, laughing to herself over how much her beloved Tsuna will love the present. As the breeze blew outside, her hair floated up in multiple directions, two large locks on each side of her head resembling demon horns. The deal was sealed when she turned around and smirked in the most un-ladylike manner anyone had ever witness Haru committing.

It was settled. This. Was. War.

Current score: Haru-1, Dino-0.

* * *

On the day of his birthday, Tsuna woke up feeling as if something was wrong. It was a good thing his birthday was on the fourteenth—the day before had been Friday the Thirteenth, after all. He quickly shook away his worries. After all, it was a good day! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and it was his birthday. He was looking forward to the cake, and he eagerly made his way downstairs just in time—

-to see the kitchen covered with pink balloons and banners.

What.

There was no sign of his family in the disturbingly bright room. Not even his mother, who would usually greet him in the mornings, was there. Instead, a stack of neatly folded clothes awaited him on the table, next to a note. He blanched when he realized that the clothes were indeed a tuxedo and a shirt. To him, the formal clothing could only mean one thing—Mafia business. Gulping, he reached for the note and nearly face palmed at the single word written on it.

"Outside."

Quickly tossing on the suit , he opened the door while tying on his tie. Waiting for him was a huge white table with many sorts of delicacies placed neatly on the ivory tablecloth. Everyone was there in formal attire, laughing and enjoying his birthday to the fullest. Awed, he slumped down. Was this all for him…?

He was quickly awakened from his dreamy state by a sharp kick to the head. Once again, his tutor and friend had managed to bring back the Dame-Tsuna.

"Stop dozing off, Dame-Tsuna! A mafia boss shouldn't be so shameless. Aren't you embarrassed to be in your twenties and still living in your mother's home?"

Blushing, he stuttered incoherent words, finally stopped from his fumbling by another kick in the head.

"You should thank Dino, you know. This was all his doing. He said it was your birthday present, the whole deal." With that said, Reborn walked off, joining Bianchi and the others in eating pasties from France.

_Ah…Dino-san…Dino-san did all of this...for me?_ His chest felt warm and fuzzy then, and he smiled sheepishly. Dino was always looking out for him in more ways than one, and he never really appreciated him. He started looking around then, trying to find the blond man. Walking over to the far end of the table, he was met with the sight of a giant tuna.

Wait. A giant tuna?

Sure, it was golden and really pretty, and it looked really expensive, but a giant tuna? He shrieked suddenly when the tuna began moving. It turned slowly to reveal Haru's face.

"Hahi! Tsuna-san, do you like my present?"

"…Ah..Ah…Sure. Ahaha. What is that?" Tsuna quickly looked around to make sure nobody heard his girlish cry (of course, everyone did) before slowly backing away from the strange sight.

"It's a giant tuna statue, made of real gold! I even modified it a bit so that you can wear it! And look at the platform!"

On the platform were the words "_Luv Luv Tsuna-kun! w"_ engraved into the platinum plate. Sweat trickling down his neck, he inched away even more. What happened to his prayer a month ago…?

"Hahhh, if it isn't my lil bro! Yo, Tsuna!" Dino suddenly popped out of nowhere, propping _his_ arm around Tsuna's shoulder, ruffling the man's hair with _his_ arm, and obviously ignoring the atrocity who was clearly harassing _his_ friend.

_Did…Did something happen between the two..?_ Tsuna shuddered, suddenly remembering the ominous sensation he had that morning. Laughing nervously, he tried to relieve some of the tension that was starting to clog up their atmosphere.

"So, Dino! I heard from Reborn that this party was all your doing! Thank you so much, ahaha!" He smiled, not realizing he made the problem even worse.

Dino beamed, way too cheerful for even him. He started to drag Tsuna away from the fuming girl in a tuna suit, all the while chattering.

"I'm so glad you liked it, Tsuna! I was planning for something else originally, but I decided that this would be _way_ better then some sort of _tuna_. I mean, seriously, tuna? How _tacky_…"

Current score: Haru-1, Dino-1.

"Grr…Wait, Tsuna-kun! I have something else for you!" Turning around, the young man was met by a beautiful cake, covered with layers of white frosting. The five tiers of sponge cake were each separated with layers of strawberry cream, fluffy and simply tantalizing.

Suppressing the urge to drool and gasp in awe, Tsuna slowly walked over.

"Wah, Haru...you made this? This…this is amazing!"

Fact: Tsunayoshi Sawada loved cake. He. _Loved_. Cake. So it was only natural for him to revert into his five-year-old self and just stare at the gorgeous piece of cake in front of him. The frosting, the _cake_, the strawberries, the _cake_…His birthday was complete.

While Tsuna was staring at the cake, Dino and Haru quickly exchanged glares. Haru, however, ended the staring contest with a quick yet smug snort and walked away, leaving Dino in the dust.

Score: Haru-2, Dino-1.

* * *

The party was in full swing when _that _happened. The incident-that-will-never-again-be-mentioned-for-fear-of-one's-own-life. Everyone was laughing and happy, enjoying the Vongola boss's twentieth birthday.

However, when Dino planned out the party, it didn't occur to him that his subordinates leaving him after the toast would be a problem. Oh you poor, poor kid, Dino…

Of course, when you put Dino, Haru, cake, and the absence of subordinates together, well…Let's just say it doesn't take a genius strategist to figure out what happened shortly after the toast.

Who put that electric cord next to the cake, anyway?

The merry crowd that was bustling with noise just a moment ago suddenly quieted down, a stunned silence sweeping through the site. The white frosting dripped down her black hair, staining her dress.

Dazed, Dino slowly raised his head from the floor, eyes widening in horror and shock at what had just occurred.

"Oh shit! I mean, crap, are you okay?."

"You…"

"No, of course you're not—gah, how stupid of me."

"Y-you…"

"Here, lemme go get you some napkins.—"

"Just _shut up_ already, hahi!"

Suddenly, Haru's face wasn't the only one covered with cake. Dino's face was, as well. The frosting dripped onto the floor, and if it weren't for the fact that Haru was seething, the sight of the Cavallone boss's expression would have been hilarious.

"…Ah…what?"

"Hahi! You're so annoying! You're just being jealous because Tsuna-kun loves me more, is that it?"

"W-what?" Dino cried, astonished at the outlandish accusal. It was one thing for her to be made about the cake, but this…"H-hey, you know, I'm sorry about the cake, but I really don't know what you're talki—"

"Don't lie to me! From the beginning, all you wanted to do was to steal _my_ Tsuna-kun! I mean, I can see why, but really! Stop trying to butt into our love life!"

Of course, this is where Tsuna gets shoved into the argument.

"U-uh, Haru-chan, I think you have a misunderstanding, Dino-san and I ar—"

"_Your_ Tsuna-kun? What love life? He never even _said he liked you_!"

"Ah, Dino-san, please just—"

"Of course he didn't! Unlike you, I don't need _words_ to understand his affection!"

"It's not like that, Har—"

"As if! It's more like _there isn't any affection_ going on!"

"Please, guys, let's just—"

"Hahi! _What did you just say_?"

"Guys!" Tsuna shouted, finally fed up with their quarrel. Still, though, Tsuna, you should've known better then to barge into a fuming conversation that was fueled by jealously and love.

"Shut up, Tsuna!" Their heads whipping back simultaneously to glare at the interruption, they both smashed a piece of cake in poor Tsuna's face before realizing what they just did.

"Ah…" the two stood there awkwardly, staring at the mess. Tsuna lay on the floor, twitching and covered with cake.

Needless to say, the Vongola had an aversion to cake throughout the remainder of the decade.

* * *

It was midnight, and the dance was at full swing. Despite the little…mishaps that had occurring during the day, with a little help from Reborn, the midnight dance in celebration of the tenth's twentieth birthday was still barely salvaged.

Leaning against the wall in the back of the room, Haru slumped dejectedly. Not only was she not able to see Tsuna's smile, she also managed to ruin her future husband's birthday party. She was beyond hopeless!

A gloved hand appearing in front of her line of vision shook her from her gloom. Smiling sheepishly, Dino stretched his hand out as an invitation.

"Uhm, will you dance with me?"

Haru blushed at the gentlemanly act before quickly turning her head away in a sniff.

"Hmph, as if Haru-chan will dance with somebody like you!"

Chuckling nervously, Dino didn't give up. "Please?" he murmured cutely, pouting in a childish manner.

"Well…I guess," she couldn't help but sigh and smile halfheartedly, taking his hand.

"Ahaha…look, I'm sorry for what happened today! It was a big mess, but I feel that it was partly my fault so…"

Haru smiled then, partly apologetic and partly happy that he had bothered to apologize.

"Hahi, it's alright! It was mostly Haru-chan's fault anyway…and at least the party's still going on, and we managed to go get new clothes!"

"Ahaha, that's true...then, may I have the honor of dancing with you?"

Laughing happily, she nodded. So her plan A didn't work out so well. So what? She still managed to find some love after all, even if it was from the least expected sources.

* * *

BLERGH. DEADLINES. YEARBOOK. ART CLUB. CONTESTS. ARGH. GAH. WRITER'S BLOCK. ARTIST'S BLOCK. FINALS. COLLEGE SEARCH. *explodes*


End file.
